<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>The Prince and the Bodyguard by KittenKakt</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23726278">The Prince and the Bodyguard</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittenKakt/pseuds/KittenKakt'>KittenKakt</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Bodyguard Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia is Still a Witcher, M/M, Prince Jaskier | Dandelion, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:01:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,760</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23726278</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittenKakt/pseuds/KittenKakt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaskier was in trouble. Someone was trying to kill him and he didn't actually want to die. Being the Crown Prince of Redania was hard enough when people WEREN'T shooting at you. Hiring a Witcher as a bodyguard is not the worst idea that he has ever had... right?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>158</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>302</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Jaskier goes to Kaer Morhen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi Everyone! This fic started out as a dream, an actual dream that I had one night. I started writing and now.... here we are. </p><p>Thanks for reading and I hope that you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There are many things that belong in Kaer Morhen that don't quite belong anywhere else. A blindingly bright silver Audi convertible, top down of course, is a thing that does not actually belong at Kaer Morhen. Especially since the driver pulls it to a stop directly in front of the stairs instead of continuing to the parking lot, that is right there, if only he used his eyes. </p><p>"Alright then" the driver says, checking his hair in the mirror and adjusting his sunglasses. Julian Alfred Pankratz, the Crown Prince of Redania, Viscount de Lettenhove strides out of the car, wearing an embroidered red silk blazer of all things. He marches determinedly up the steps, stuffing the car keys into obscenely tight pants and swings the great door open. There goes another thing that doesn't belong at Kaer Morhen. </p><p>Lambert is very glad he was home today. </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>---------------------------------------------</p>
</div><p>Jaskier was quite pleased with himself. He managed to completely evade his security - more proof they should not be trusted with his life - and armed only with his car and Google maps he made it successfully to Kaer Morhen in less than a day. Granted he had stopped for, ordered, and imbibed more coffee than he probably should in an 11 hour period, but such are the pains one takes to, oh, stay alive.</p><p>Kaer Morhen was not what he was expecting. Actually he was not sure what to expect, the whole thing was black boxed on Google maps, including all the surrounding land. There's security and there's never being able to see if there's an awkward photo to appreciate on street view. Who would bother a bunch of Witchers anyway? They are literally the biggest bads on the Continent. </p><p>Dealing with a tough situation? Call the armed forces. Something terrifying going down? Call a Witcher. Something having a little nibble on unsuspecting tourists? Call a Witcher. Someone opened the Hellmouth? You get the money together and call a fucking Witcher. If you even think you need a Witcher, you probably need one and you are NICE to them because if you're blacklisted, you are fucked. Redania has always had a good working relationship with the School of the Wolf and Jaskier was not going to be the reason that falls apart.</p><p>Well, if they forgive the fact he parked on the steps. Oops. And that he had made no request to enter their hold. Also oops. But hopefully all offense will be forgiven with a good justification and enough coin.</p><p>Before he could turn down the hall, a rather solid body appeared to block any path forward. 'What is a thing like you doing in a place like this?'</p><p>"Well…" Jaskier began gesturing vaguely to the whole of the Witcher in front of him. The man neglected to offer his name so he carried on "Master Witcher, I am looking for your Guild Master? Ah, Grandmaster?" Ah shit, what's the proper title...</p><p>The Witcher loomed over Jaskier. "And you need him why?"</p><p>That Witcher was making fun of him. Like he was a lost deer that had wandered in an open door and not a human being who walked in with a purpose. Arsehole. Jaskier unconsciously squared up to continue, "If you must know, Nameless Witcher, I.."</p><p>"LAMBERT" boomed a voice from down the hall.</p><p>"Take it easy Vesemir, I was only showing the Crown Prince some of the hospitality we are known for at Kaer Morhen." Clearly he didn't know the meaning of the word, or was just a right bastard. A stray thought flits across his mind that Jaskier might actually rather die than hire Lambert to keep him alive.</p><p>"Hmmm." That was the look of a tutor who knows you are lying about the state of your homework. Or about feeding peas to the dog. Then the man turned to him. "You," he commanded sharply, "come along; you must be here for a reason."</p><p>Jaskier stepped around the no longer nameless Lambert Witcher, perhaps making a bigger show of it than he should and ducking into the doorway Vesemir had used. He found himself in a study full of books and sheets of paper and a laptop that mostly seemed to be serving as a staging place for daggers. The printer was holding a potted plant.</p><p>Vesemir stared at him, waiting for an answer to an unasked question. "Oh yes. Thank you for seeing me Guild Master, I…"</p><p>"Vesemir, we don't stand on ceremony here." Vesemir dropped down into a comfortably worn desk chair. He made a vague gesture to the chair near the door and Jaskier gently perched the books it was holding down on a side table and pulled it over to sit in front of the desk. He hoped nothing collapsed.</p><p>"Alright then, Vesemir, go ahead and call me Julian. I mean I am Julian. Julian Alfred Pankratz, Prince of Redania?" Ok, so, maybe it's a bit unsettling to have someone who could best a selkimore staring at you with little more than a desk between you. Moving on then.</p><p>"I would like to hire a Witcher for personal protection."</p><p>Vesemir raised an eyebrow. "That is a bit unusual. Shouldn't you already have a royal guard?"</p><p>"Yes, well, if they could be trusted I wouldn't have nearly taken a bullet through my skull in an interior courtyard in my own home. The only reason I am here is whoever was shooting at me was as effective as the guards and did not correct for the wind in the bullet's trajectory." Vesemir did not look impressed - with either the guards or the assassin, Jaskier was not sure at this point. "Also, as another commendation to their stellar service, I drove out of the palace garage at three this morning with no security and no one noticed I was missing. No one even checked the tracking on my phone!"</p><p>Vesemir appeared to turn this information over in his mind. "Normally, I wouldn't ask one of the boys to take an open-ended protection contract but I am surprised you have made it to…" he made a gesture at Jaskier's face, "however old you are if that is the state of security in Redania."</p><p>"Truly, it was not always so bad. Most of my normal security detail was injured and placed on long term leave to heal after the wreck earlier this month, when a car forced my entourage off the road. The only reason I was not badly injured is I was in the last car instead of one of the other two." Jaskier paused to collect himself, "the healers said they should be okay with time."</p><p>The wreck was horrific, three people had died, including the driver of the delivery truck that ran his motorcade down an embankment. If Jaskier had been in his usual car, he would probably still be in hospital himself or dead. The publicist who was sitting in his usual seat and the driver of that car were the other fatalities of the wreck. </p><p>His security detail were good men and women and he hated the thought that they were injured or placed in a coma because someone wanted him dead. He did not like seeing his friends hurt even if their job was to do exactly that if it meant protecting him. Something must have shown on his face because Vesemir actually looked at Jaskier with sympathetic eyes.</p><p>"I need someone who can be trusted. Who won't turn on me or let me die from apathy. I can offer this" Jaskier offers a rather obscenely large check "as a down payment for services. And I will cover all expenses the Witcher will have during their time with me." Jaskier really hoped he had provided an adequate payment. "Also, if the contract runs too long I am amenable to adding an additional payment to cover any income that was otherwise lost. I understand that I am depriving you of an able bodied Witcher who would be generating additional income."</p><p>Vesemir looked satisfied with the exchange.  "You have thought this out."</p><p>"I do have to admit the last 48 hours have involved a lot of googling and digging through old contracts with the School of the Wolf in the Royal Archives to try and offer fair compensation. I'm also prepared to offer a per diem if that is necessary or if your man is uncomfortable with my covering expenses directly."</p><p>"You might have to wait a day or so." Vesemir was talking to himself as much as Jaskier at this point. "Eskel is finishing up and should be getting in late tonight. He is pleasant and I think you will get on long term." </p><p>"No!" Jaskier interjected, a bit louder than necessary, stopping Vesemir from further describing the Witcher that was probably just fine but not what Jaskier wanted. "I want Geralt of Rivia, your White Wolf, the Butcher of Blaviken."</p><p>"Why would you want him?" The older Witcher looks honestly confused. Who wouldn't want to trust his life to a man who took out a hit squad of twelve men with nothing more than his handguns and knives. He leans forward across the desk so Vesemir would understand how seriously he means this request.</p><p>"Because he is your best. Because he spares life when he can. Because he only kills true monsters. Because I am no monster."</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>---------------------------------------------</p>
</div><p>Geralt heard an unfamiliar car drive up. He desperately hoped that Vesemir had finally given in and called a Stone Mason. He appreciated the storied history of Kaer Morhen and the Fortress that was older than any living Witcher. He loved that it was tucked away from the world and he can just be when he was not following the Path. However, it would be a very ignoble end if the corridor coming from his chambers collapsed as he was on his way to breakfast one morning. Or if someone accidentally ran into a wall for making fun of Roach and the wall crumbled down upon their head. Satisfying as that image may be, a standing home was better.</p><p>He decided to continue packing supplies for Roach. There was a cocatrice down near Ban Ard who had taken a liking to family pets for dinner and he wanted to take care of it tonight. Horses were much better for hunting monsters in the woods than vehicles. Roach was also better company than anything with an engine.</p><p>He was still pre-packing his saddlebags when Vesemir came out the back with someone Geralt PRAYED was the stone mason but was ultimately very unlikely to be. Because, unless there's a very lucky Doppler about, that was Redania's Prince. Geralt would have vastly preferred a stone mason.</p><p>"Geralt!" Vesemir called waving him over.</p><p>"Fuck."</p><p>The pair ended up stopping in front of the paddock. Roach, knowing Vesemir's propensity for having treats somewhere on his person, happily trotted over to hang her head over the paddock fence and investigate his person for said treats. Prince Julian saw her immediately and abruptly changed direction with what looked like full intent to coo over her.</p><p>"Don't touch Roach!" he snapped out, but he
was too late. The Prince was already calling her a pretty thing and telling her how very beautiful she was. </p><p>"What was that?" the Prince called over his shoulder, scratching the sweet spot just behind her poll. Roach, the traitor, was leaning in and her face was starting to go slack.</p><p>"I said," Geralt grit out, "don't touch my horse." He was not going to murder Royalty today, he really was not. That's how people end up with bounties on their head.</p><p>The Prince turned around without removing his hands from said horse. "He seems to be enjoying a good scratch."</p><p>"She's a mare."</p><p>"Oh dear, I am sorry lovely lady for not lifting your skirt when we met. You are very kind to put up with my ignorance." He stroked his free hand down her nose while looking sincerely into one big eye as he apologized. The little shit turned around to look at him and sighed dramatically. "Do you think she will ever forgive me?"</p><p>"Hmmm." Murder might be back on the to do list. </p><p>"So Geralt, I have a new contract for you. Prince Julian needs a bodyguard for the foreseeable future. His loyal security is out of commission and what is left is frankly shit."</p><p>"I'm not babysitting him until Eskel gets back. I have things to do."</p><p>"He's not for Eskel, you're taking it."</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Yes, you are. The boy has decided you are the best man for the job and frankly, I agree with his assessment. He is paying enough to fix that damn wall you boys are always on about so I do believe you're taking it."</p><p>Geralt wished that he had been gone already when this idiot, who was still petting his horse, had come up the drive. Witchers were supposed to have control of their emotions so he took a minute to stuff his frustration deep, deep down. </p><p>Vesemir saw his resignation for the affirmative response that it was. "Good, I'll leave you to discuss the particulars."</p><p>Wait, Geralt saw a glimmer of hope to get out of this, "What about the cockatrice? "</p><p>Vesemir kept walking back to the keep as he answered. "Lambert! You need to take care of Geralt's cockatrice!"</p><p>"Ah FUCK!" came the disgruntled response somewhere from the side yard.</p><p>Well at least Lambert would be useful today. He turned to the Prince who was leaning on to the edge of the paddock to keep himself up while laughing, presumably at Lambert's misfortune.</p><p>"Is it always this much fun here?" he wheezed out between laughs.</p><p>"Is this how you define fun?"</p><p>"Watching a pair of the most lethal beings on earth scolded like children avoiding chores? Yes this is quite fun." He had regained his breath and was smiling at Geralt like sunshine. Who smiles like that?</p><p>"No wonder you need a bodyguard."</p><p>"That I actually do good Witcher." The prince stood up straight and dusted off his hands. "I would very much like to employ you to keep my person alive and as unharmed as possible."</p><p>"I'll not spend my days protecting your face from media vultures." The press was terrible. He would not do this, whatever Vesemir thought, if he was just babysitting an idiot who can't behave himself.</p><p>The prince straightened up and approached, for the first time he actually seemed to have royal bearing. "I would not waste your time on something so trivial. I have been targeted for assassination no less than three times in the past month. Twice they tried to make it appear an accident and the last time was a gunshot fired from within the walls of my home. I am not safe and I am alone and I am doing what I can."</p><p>The Prince was looking at Geralt with hope and desperation and steel and his eyes were wide and blue. </p><p>Fuck. </p><p>He was doing this. "You can tell me what you know on the way back to Redania." </p><p>In a breath, he had his arms full of the man. The tension bled out of his form and he sagged into Geralt, trusting that he would bear his weight. So he did. He really hoped the Prince isn't crying. Geralt wasn't good with crying. Actually he doesn't know what to do in this situation at all. Hugging was outside the scope of training. </p><p>The Prince snuffled wetly against Geralt's shoulder and murmured, "you call me Jaskier, alright?" He found himself nodding enough that Jaskier would know. "Thank you, Geralt of Rivia."</p><p>And Geralt was gonna murder Lambert because he could hear the shutter sound on his phone.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A big thanks to my beta, Amariahellcat, without whom this entire project would not exist. A special thanks to Dalidarling for being my go to reference for in-game data and providing inspiration. And thanks to the discord for putting up with me, seriously.</p><p>Thank you to everyone for reading! Comments and Kudos are appreciated &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Geralt goes to Redania</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Road trip!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Geralt wasn't actually sure what he was expecting of the Prince when he was in his chambers, packing to leave. Maybe a scared boy who would cower and hide while Geralt protects him. Perhaps a man who would listen to Geralt's expertise in matters of his personal safety, with respectful seriousness; he did hire the Witcher after all. He was not expecting an argument before they had even left the safety of Kaer Morhen.</p><p>It was completely unreasonable to travel to Redania in a tiny convertible. Geralt wasn't sure he could even fit his gear in it. People with assassins out for them should not travel in cars with no protection. This was basic common sense. Instead, it was much more reasonable to take his already mostly-packed truck and leave the Audi for later. </p><p>The Prince did not like this. Loudly. In the yard. Where everyone could and did watch. He did have a fair point that "That Lambert Witcher" would go for a joyride and destroy everything. However, pointing out that if they left in Geralt's vehicle they could bring Roach changed his mind. The Prince was so pleased Roach was coming he stopped arguing and got in the truck. Also, Vesemir was left in charge of the Audi keys.</p><p>If Geralt was expecting a run down of why he was hired, he would have been very wrong. Given as much as the Prince had talked and argued in the four hours Geralt had known him, the last thing he was expecting was a silent drive. </p><p>Before even reaching the end of the keep's private drive, he had removed his jacket, folded it into a makeshift pillow, and curled into a ball against the window. Geralt stopped before leaving the drive and looked at him. He was sleeping like he hasn't had rest in a week. And perhaps he hadn't. Geralt hmmed to himself and fished a blanket out from behind the bench seat. It still had some dirt and leaves on it - no visible bloodstains - but Geralt tossed it over the Prince anyway, kind deed being done for the moment. </p><p>Geralt double checked the trailer in the mirrors and set Spotify to play something for background noise. He ignored the group chat. He could find the palace in Tretogor even if his companion slept the entire way.</p><p>As it happened, he didn't have to drive the entire way in silence. He pulled into a station to fill up. Geralt liked this one, quiet, calm and plenty of space for the trailer. The stop woke his passenger, who stretched and yawned and kicked Geralt in the thigh with both feet. Unfortunately, he looked enough like a baby kitten Geralt's annoyance was tempered.</p><p>"Oh, I am sorry. I didn't mean to pass out on you like that. I just haven't been sleeping and I was comfortable…"</p><p>"Hmm." Geralt refrained from commenting further as he knew the Prince was exaggerating. This was an old truck. Geralt has slept too many times stretched across the bench seat to know how much you regretted it unless you were desperate for sleep. On the other hand, maybe the Prince was actually that kind of desperate.</p><p>The Prince looked around. It wouldn't do him much good, since it was dark, with hours until dawn. "Where are we?"</p><p>"Little town, just into Redania. I'm going to fill up and grab some coffee.  Check on Roach." Go back to sleep he didn't add. </p><p>"Are we driving through the night?"</p><p>Geralt just stared instead of responding to an idiot question.</p><p>"Ahh. Right then." The Prince fiddled around with his wallet and pulled a sleek black card from it to press into Geralt's hand. "2147. For the gas and anything else you need right now. I'll get you your own after we are home." The Prince flicked a hand at the building ahead. "I'm going across the way just there and get us some coffee and food. Anything you want?"</p><p>Geralt evaluated at the all night coffee shop across the scrappy bit of grass from the gas station. The Prince would be alright to go over, this far from capitol. It would be fine to let him go just over there. He will need to stay closer when they get where they are going. </p><p>"Not picky." There's not much in the way of food that can hurt Geralt or make him ill and he very much doubts any of those would be found in an independent coffee shop in Redania.</p><p>"I will just surprise you then. Maybe I should assume you love surprises since you've given me so little to go on?" The Prince was grinning at him, but not unkindly. Geralt was unsure what his face does in response but he watches the Prince slip into his jacket and practically bounce over to the shop. </p><p>Reminding himself why they stopped, Geralt looked down at the black card in his hand - RBKR, Royal Bank of the Kingdom of Redania. He thumbs over the name and reads Julian Alfred Pankratz. He was holding the Prince's personal bank card. He was holding the Prince's personal bank card and was given the PIN. Jaskier was lucky to have Geralt. Idiot.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>---------------------------------------------</p>
</div>Jaskier adored the little coffee shop. Everything was locally sourced and they made breakfast pastries on site. He might have gone a little overboard on the order, but he wasn't sure what the Witcher metabolism was like. Jaskier assumed they would pick up some dinner on the drive but he could not help falling asleep before he could ask. It was the first time in weeks he felt like someone wasn't going to pop out from behind a pillar and stab him.<p>Geralt was by the trailer, checking on Roach. Jaskier walked up so he could look at her himself, pressing a coffee into Geralt's hand and himself against Geralt to look through the door. Roach, having decided she wasn't unloading when the people door opened instead of the back, was sleepily ignoring the remaining hay in her hay bag. She would be alright for a while yet.</p><p>"I got us dinner!" Jaskier waggled the very large bag for Geralt to see. "And coffee. Didn't say what you liked so I did my best." Actually Jaskier got a tad excited, just a bit.</p><p>Geralt shut the trailer door and turned to Jaskier. Wow, he was actually very close. So close Jaskier had to lift his own coffee out of the way. And Geralt was looking at him like he was the biggest idiot. "Is the coffee alright?"</p><p>Geralt, without looking away, took a sip of his coffee. And, yes that coffee cup did almost hit him in the nose, thanks for that. Geralt's face looked like he might have found ambrosia before it was schooled back into a neutral expression. Geralt DID begrudgingly admit that "it's fine."</p><p>"That coffee is mostly espresso shots and hazelnut syrup, maybe some milk if they could manage to fit it in. Glad you appreciate nice things." It was sweet and ridiculous, Jaskier had tried it in the shop but he had a feeling the Witcher would appreciate something that was not a plain black coffee. He also figured he could take Jaskier's 2 cream 2 sugar drip if he honestly hated it.</p><p>Geralt stared at him one more moment before herding Jaskier toward the cab with a grumbled out "We need to get going."</p><p>Jaskier climbed into the truck, tossing the bag in the middle and shucking his jacket again. Geralt poked his card back at him while his hands were still tied up, honestly could you not have waited. </p><p>"You shouldn't just hand this to people. Can't trust everyone."</p><p>"You're not just everyone are you?" was his immediate flippant response. Geralt was looking at him thoroughly unimpressed so he continued, "Look. I trust you. I have made that decision. I am trusting you with my life and to keep me safe. I cannot continue to live assuming everyone in my life is a possible murderer. And if the money or information on a bank card is enough to turn you from me then I am already dead. So handing you a card to pay for expenses you are incurring on my behalf is hardly the biggest leap of faith I have made involving us."</p><p>Geralt makes a face that Jaskier is quite sure is not pity and said "I'm sure you will make worse decisions than trusting me."</p><p>Jaskier just stared at Geralt. What the hell was that supposed to mean? He just put the truck in drive and pulled away from the little stop. Jaskier stared out into the darkness. There were occasional dots of light from farmhouses but it was too dark to see anything else. No answers there. He reached into the bag and jabbed a pastry into Geralt's face. "Oh here, have a scone. I bought about six." </p><p>Dinner, or was it breakfast - in any event the two of them can demolish a bag of pastries and a couple of breakfast sandwiches - was a good idea.  Jaskier was also pleased to note Geralt drank all of his coffee. Food and coffee put Jaskier in a good mood.</p><p>Geralt managed to kill his good mood with a single question. "Why would someone want to kill you?"</p><p>"I don't know," he replied honestly. Jaskier tried to be a good monarch and a good person, not one that would collect enemies who want you dead.</p><p>"Do you have any enemies? Either personal or political," Geralt pressed.</p><p>"Umm. I suppose the only person I would count as a personal enemy is Valdo Marx." Jaskier waited for an acknowledgement and got none. He continued on "he is a Troubadour down in Cidris? Pretends he is a musician but realistically makes his living by dragging me in the press. He is not very good at either." Also, he was a horse's arse, Jaskier tacked on mentally.</p><p>"Hmm," Geralt sounded thoughtful, "would he hate you enough to want you dead?"</p><p>Jaskier laughed, "I sincerely doubt it. He makes a nice living being my public rival. Which all started, mind you, because I beat him every year in the Blind Bardic trials when we were at Oxenfurt. He took each loss terribly, poor form."</p><p>"Do I want to know what a Bardic trial is?"</p><p>Jaskier lit up. He had loved his time at college and talking about it was fun. "They are a grand Oxenfurt tradition. Every year, in the spring, Compositional Music and Music Performance majors write and perform an original song. However, you do so behind a screen so you are only judged on your music and lyrics."</p><p>Jaskier had loved competing, even though he only came in second his first year. The graduate student who beat him deserved every bit of the win and if he remembers correctly,  now is on staff in the department. "The foul-tempered Mr. Marx thought that I had somehow bought my wins and complained, loudly, to anyone who would listen. It was a ridiculous assumption;  the judges are from all over the Continent and no one knows who they are until the competition begins. He dogged me for four years in person as we shared all the same classes."</p><p>"He hates you because of a University music competition." A statement, not a question. Jaskier could hear Geralt rolling his eyes. </p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"And he makes a living from talking shit about you to the media?" That one was actually a question.</p><p>"That about sums him up," Jaskier replied shortly. He would like to stop talking about that arsehole now.</p><p>"That's sad."</p><p>"He is a sad little man," Jaskier affirmed.</p><p>Geralt chuckled. It was low and warm and Jaskier thought mirth was a good emotion for him. "So no personal rivals, political then?"</p><p>"Umm," Jaskier had been thinking about this for days. He still had no good answers. "I don't really know of any.  Most of my time is spent working on social programs and improving the quality of life for my subjects. I am not harming anyone, just promoting programs for children who need a bit more joy in their lives and making sure the people in my country and under my care have access to what they need to live. No one should hate me for making sure people in a wealthy kingdom full of agriculture have food." Jaskier maybe sounded a bit petulant about that last bit, but his grandmother could shut right up about her husband's rule.</p><p>"Many kings have let their folk starve to prove a point."</p><p>"Many kings are stupid. There is no point in governing people who have no quality standard of life. It's a Monarch's job to care for the country as a whole and her people are part of that whole."</p><p>"Anyone who would take your crown? That might see you as weak and easily replaced?"</p><p>"Hey!" that was offensive. Jaskier was not weak. "I'm not weak. And no, if you must know, you are in a vehicle with the only heir to Redania."</p><p>"I'll let Roach know to pick out a coronation dress," Geralt laughed. Jaskier gaped. Geralt actually made a joke; he has a terrible sense of humor and Jaskier loved it.</p><p>"Oh my god. You actually managed to find a sense of humor. Granted that was not the height of wit but good effort!" Jaskier patted Geralt on the shoulder to comfort him about his lackluster joke. </p><p>"But no, if something were to happen to me there is no one waiting in the wings for the crown. As it stands there would be a very lengthy and messy vetting of possible heirs since there are none known. The last time it happened was in the 1300s and I think the Council of Lords is still traumatized however-many centuries later. Maybe that four years of kingless clusterfuck wormed its way into their DNA." He can think of none of his nobles who would willingly subject themselves to that. Learning about that debacle in history class was bad enough - so many names. He shudders at the memory.</p><p>"Hmm." Geralt did not sound satisfied by the answer. Jaskier was surprised when he continued, "Redanian intelligence knows nothing?"</p><p>"So they tell me," Jaskier huffed. The frustration bled into his voice, "What good is the best intelligence network on the Continent if they have no idea who wants their prince dead? I figure they either are useless, which I doubt." Jaskier ticked off one finger. "Or whoever is after me is acting outside their normal purview, slightly more likely," another finger, "or whoever is working with them knows the network well enough to know who's silence can be bought, very likely." One more finger. "Or they are all lying to me and my own mother wishes me dead."</p><p>Geralt remained silent. Jaskier was suddenly so very tired. He rubbed his eyes. "Do you see now why I came to you?"</p><p>Geralt's voice was quiet when he spoke "Jaskier, I will protect you. I only ask because more information means I can do that better."</p><p>Jaskier wanted to cry, but he settled for "Thank you."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks to everyone who left kudos and comments. All of those were so lovely ro recieve &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Welcome to to Stable Roach</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Roach gets the Royal treatement and the tabloids exist.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eventually someone had to notice the Crown Prince was missing. That person happened to be his mother. As dawn was breaking, Jaskier's phone made a loud helicopter noise.</p><p>"Oh, I guess someone decided to look for me finally," he said absently. In the next 30 seconds, his phone came to life. Geralt was treated to a second hand freakout - there was no other word for it - from the Queen of Redania. Even if he had not been in possession of mutated hearing, he would've been able to clearly hear the Queen.</p><p>She was livid. Jaskier was replying mostly "Yes Mum," and "No Mother," and "How is that my fault? I have my phone." There was also a good deal of asking if he was safe and when he would come home. </p><p>Unless the Queen had the skills of an award-winning actress, that was not the conversation of someone who would secretly send assassins after their son. She sounded angry because she was scared he didn't come home last night. She sounded scared because he was unprotected. She sounded like she wanted to hide him away to keep him safe. Geralt was beginning to understand the impulse.</p><p>After the Queen's call, the communications floodgates opened. Jaskier proceeded to spend the rest of the drive on the phone with various people, including his personal assistant, the bank because his PA was useless, a tailor, at least one event planner - again because the PA was useless, and the Royal Stable Master. Geralt wishes his ears had a mute setting. </p><p>Jaskier was also texting furiously while talking on the phone. He also was every so often slipping Geralt distracted directions on the best way to approach the city and then the Royal Stables while hauling the trailer. Geralt was relieved when Jaskier threw the damned thing onto the dash and told it to "Fuck all the way off."</p><p>"Alright?"</p><p>"I will be." Jaskier was sounding tired again; this time it was the type of tired that comes from dealing with people. Geralt knows it well. "Take this final left and they're expecting us at the gates."</p><p>The gates opened and Geralt pulled through. Jaskier directed him through the immense complex which was filled with green pasture, healthy horses, and plenty of work facilities. It was easily the nicest place Geralt had ever stabled Roach. Jaskier had him pull up alongside a barn deep into the complex. Three people walked out of the stable to meet them.</p><p>Jaskier hopped out of the truck, hugging each of them. "Geralt! Come say hello. Brennan here is the Royal Stable Master and will be taking care of Our Lady Roach."</p><p>Geralt found himself looking at an imposing older woman with gray streaks running through her frizzy hair. "Welcome to the Royal Stables Master Witcher." She offered him a strong handshake. "Prince Julian told me you've got a mare to stable. We've got a space cleared out over here in his personal barn for her. Go on youngins," she shooed them away, "help the Witcher with his girl."</p><p>The two teenagers hurried over to the trailer and began opening up. Geralt hurried to grab Roach before one of them surprised her and there was an unpleasant situation. To his shock, they waited patiently to one side once all the latches were free, looking to him for further instruction. "Gear's in the tack hold and her food's in the bed of the truck."</p><p>"Yes sir," they chorused and moved to start unloading the things Roach will need and carry them into the nearby barn. Roach was standing at high alert in the trailer eager to get off after a night of travel. She knocked into him a bit as he grabbed her lead and backed her off. </p><p>"She is a pretty thing, isn't she? Don't you worry, we will take very good care of your girl here. Alice and Carey, that's my grandson there, are assigned to this barn and the care of all of Prince Julian's mounts. They are our most talented kids and work very hard. I also personally check the horses every…"</p><p>Geralt should have been paying attention to the Stable Master. He should, as it was polite and this woman would be in charge of his horse for however long he was guarding Jaskier. She would have pertinent information. Instead, he was watching Jaskier completely ignore the gate of one of the paddocks. Instead he was climbing the fence like a child. His flexibility, and that of his slacks, was impressive Geralt had to admit. Once on the inside, he called to the back of the pasture.</p><p>The response was a thudding canter from the far end. Roach threw her head up, fully alert, to watch a white horse stop just short of headbutting Jaskier. Jaskier laughed at the horse's antics and murmured endearments and praise. The horse was young and fit and clearly loved Jaskier. The horse happily followed Jaskier as he walked back to the fence, bumping him with his nose to beg for more attention. This was definitely Jaskier's horse.</p><p>"And I think she will get on turned out with Pegasus here so why don't you let her say hello?" The Stable Master. Fuck. Geralt had missed most of that conversation.</p><p>"Hello Roach darling, come say hello to Pegasus. He's in need of company when I'm gone. Think you will get along? Hmm?" Jaskier was stretching an arm out over the fence and wiggling his fingers. </p><p>Geralt tried to ignore Jaskier being ridiculous. He did bring Roach close enough for Pegasus and her to huff on each other's nose. No aggression; in fact Roach seemed quite agreeable to the other horse. It will be good for her to have company while they are here.</p><p>"Sir," piped up the girl from before. She had appeared completely out of thin air in front of Geralt. It was embarrassing for a human girl to sneak up on a Witcher; he needed to pay better attention. "I mean, Master Witcher, would you like me to take her to be fed and brushed? We've unloaded everything. I can clean it later if you want me to. Or bathe her, do you think she should have a bath?"</p><p>She was looking nervously from Geralt to Jaskier to the Stable Master like she was trying to impress her boss and was unsure who it was at the moment. She might have continued offering to do things if Geralt hadn't pressed Roach's lead into her hand. "She would like some breakfast. There's a marked scoop in the grain bin."</p><p>The girl relaxed immediately with a task or maybe she was just more comfortable with a horse in hand. Geralt could understand. "And you spell her name R-O-A-C-H?" Geralt nooded. "Alright, I'll make sure her nameplate is spelled correctly. Should I put her in Royal colors?" And Geralt stared blankly. What kind of question was that? Nameplate? Colors?</p><p>Fortunately Jaskier understood the strange question and answered "She's out of Kaer Morhen dear, silver and black would suit."</p><p>She smiled brightly. "I can do that, Your Highness. If there is anything you think of or want to check up on her, call and we will do our best." Roach seemed happy enough to go with her and Roach was usually a good judge of people.</p><p>"Want to peep at her new home before we head up to the Palace? I can show you where Pegasus saved my life." Jaskier climbed back over the fence and gave Geralt a little tug in the direction of the nearby barn.</p><p>"Hmm." Geralt did want to look around the complex but he also really wanted to get somewhere he could wash up a bit. Witchers don't need a lot of sleep, but driving through the night did take its toll. It would be a waste of a potion if he went that route. Maybe he could meditate if he could convince the Jaskier to stay in a secure location.</p><p>He had obediently followed Jaskier into the nicest stable he has ever set foot in. Heavy wood construction with light coming in from high windows along the loft. Accents were painted in Redanian Red and white with shiny brass fittings. Hand-carved nameplates hung on each door proudly displaying the name of the intended occupant with personalised decorations. The smell of hay drifted down from the loft and a tabby cat padded along a beam overhead. He spotted Roach in one of the few stalls that was unassigned with her halter hanging on the corresponding hook.</p><p>Jaskier gestured to the stall next to Roach, where Pegasus's name was surrounded by swirling carved flowers. Jaskier patted the high polished wood of the stall door. "I had just gotten my saddle out. I put it here like usual and took off the dust cover. Imagine my shock when, as I removed the cover, a Copperhead fell out!" Jaskier paused for dramatic effect. </p><p>"Of course, I didn't have you to protect me then Geralt. Fortunately, Pegasus came to my aid and stomped the angry snake to death with his hooves. I didn't realize it at the time but I have been informed that it would be very unusual to find one of those on these grounds, especially one of the size that was in my gear. I do believe it was the first, rather clumsy attempt on my life."</p><p>"Sometimes a snake is just a snake," he said because it's true. Geralt didn't actually think this was a coincidence given the other occurrences but he did not share that assessment with Jaskier. He had obviously already formed the correct conclusion.</p><p>"Yes, but the following week my entire security detail was hospitalized in a car accident and it was a stroke of luck I wasn't with them in my regular car." It looked as if Jaskier was actually going to poke him for emphasis for a second there. His explanation derailed when his phone went off. </p><p>While Jaskier was checking his phone, and frowning at it, Geralt saw the icon cheerily tell him 33 new messages. Unsurprisingly they were all from the <b>My Brother, My Brother, and Me</b> chat. He also had 5 missed calls from Eskel. He tried the chat first.</p><p>Lambert: Eskel, man it sucks you're still in aidern<br/>
Lambert: who parks like that<br/>
Lambert:<i> WhyAreRichPplLikeThis.jpeg </i><br/>
Eskel: No one drives a car that nice to our place<br/>
Eskel:  Make sure they give us good coin. And I'm not fixing the steps if they broke them.<br/>
Eskel:<i> IGotTheCheck.jpeg</i><br/>
Eskel: Headed home, not cooking. I'll be late<br/>
Lambert: <i>GeraltGivesGoodHugs.jpeg</i><br/>
Eskel: GERALT<br/>
Eskel: Who is that<br/>
Eskel: GERALT WHO ARE YOU HUGGING<br/>
Eskel: I know all your friends<br/>
Eskel: IS THAT THE FUXKONG PRINCE<br/>
Eskel: Of Redania<br/>
Lambert: yep, Geralt is getting cuddly<br/>
Eskel: Google says yes it is. What the fuxk<br/>
Eskel: Geralt pick up your phone. I s2g I will thrash you when I get there<br/>
Lambert: <i> ThisIsMyGrumpyFace.jpeg</i><br/>
Lambert: going to kill Geralt's cocatrice<br/>
Lambert: so thrilled<br/>
Eskel: I just got home and neither of you idiots are.<br/>
Eskel: Vesemir is asleep.<br/>
Lambert: <i>EverythingSucksAndINeedAShower.jpeg</i><br/>
Lambert: you owe me<br/>
Lambert: it was a juvenile<br/>
Lambert: FEMALE<br/>
Lambert: it was a pain in the ass to track<br/>
Lambert: it was hiding in a trash dumpster<br/>
Lambert: everything smells like dumpster<br/>
Lambert: i smell like a dumpster<br/>
</p><p>
Lambert: GERALT GETTING COZY WITH THE CONTRACT<br/>
Lambert: <span class="u">RedaniaRedacted.com/PrinceJulianSpotted</span><br/>
Eskel: Gods Geralt, are you seriously already fuxking the contract?</p><p>His brothers are idiots. He snaps a picture of Roach in her luxurious stall and sends it back.</p><p>Me: <i>RoachIsMyFavorite38.jpeg</i><br/>
Me: No one is fucking anyone you idiots.<br/>
Me: Roach however is enjoying the stables</p><p>Geralt is pulled from his phone by Jaskier speaking. "Looks like we got Papped when we stopped for gas last night. It's gonna be madness up at the palace. Sorry about that, I figured we had more time," he apologized.</p><p>Jaskier pressed his own phone into Geralt's hand. It was open to what he assumed was The Redania Redacted article Lambert linked. 'PRINCE JULIAN SPOTTED NEAR BORDER' was in bold font over a grainy photo of Geralt and Jaskier illuminated by the gas station lights. Jaskier's coffee cup hovered over Geralt's shoulder in what looked like an intimate moment, even if neither of their faces were clearly visible. </p><p>
  <i>Caught by our sources just this morning, Prince Julian was spotted during the night at a gas station just inside the Kaedwen border. He was seen travelling in a truck pulling a substantial horse trailer that did not sport the colors of the Royal Stables. Perhaps he is adding some fresh blood to the Royal bloodlines? </i>
</p><p>
  <i>As fond as our prince is of horses, the experts can't help but wonder about the driver and the Prince caught in a seemingly intimate moment. No positive identification of the driver has been made but sources say that the Prince confidently ordered coffee for both of them and embraced the mystery man before getting into the truck which headed in the direction of the capitol.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Our beloved royal has taken a sabbatical these past few weeks, in light of the tragic accident that left 3 dead and many more injured, including Prince Julian himself (click <span class="u">here</span> for more info). There was no official itinerary released for this little voyage, though our prince has been known to catch a case of wanderlust from time to time. But who is this mysterious man that is so seemingly familiar with our Prince Charming? A new paramour, perhaps? Only time will tell. </i>
</p><p>Fuck.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you to Miss.MySims for reporting for Redania Redacted! And thanks to Dalidarling for the cute inspo sketches.</p><p>A special Happy Birthday Thank You to my beta, Amariahellcat.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Welcome to the Palace Geralt</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jaskier finally gets home with his Witcher.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When you grow up as a public figure, you learn that anything you do where there might possibly be a camera will be public knowledge eventually. At least, some version of it will. Being kind to the media has been a conscious choice for Jaskier and it has served him well so far.  He makes himself available to cameras and gives good sound bites and posts funny things on his twitter. Due to building this positive relationship, if there was an open interpretation of an event, the press will come down on him in a favorable light. It's useful if you have a day that you are not perfect.</p><p>Another way that was beneficial, was that occasionally you can do something and no one notices. There are enough pictures of your face floating around that something was more interesting than you that day. Jaskier had been hoping his little 24-hour jaunt to Kaer Morhen would have slid under the radar. He had hoped maybe he would be able to return home with his Witcher before the press mobbed them. Let Geralt get a handle on dealing with Jaskier's life before dealing with... the rest of Jaskier's life. Instead, it looked like every major media outlet was waiting for them at the garage gate.</p><p>Witchers had a niche fan club online, with people following their social media and posting bits about monsters, asking advice, and competency kink running rampant through the thirst tweets. It was nothing like the mainstream press that was Jaskier's life. From what Jaskier could find, the online presence of the School of the Wolf seemed to be an official twitter account with an assortment of cute handles for each Witcher and occasional links to instagram posts. As was normal amongst the Witcher schools, it was able to be handled by one of the Witchers, instead of by a media professional. It was definitely not handled by Geralt.</p><p>Geralt's social media presence seemed to be limited to innocuous pictures of nature and Roach. Nothing that anyone could misconstrue or twist. It makes sense, given the terrible trial by press he endured over the Blaviken incident, which was criminally unfair by the way. If Witchers were prone to litigate, the libel fees from that incident alone would set them up nicely.</p><p>But the press didn't know he had a Witcher yet. So off they went with the most sensational angle. Jaskier's pan-sexualty was old news at this point - thanks to an awkward outing while he was in his first year at Oxenfurt - but as a single, eligible prince, his love life was always a prime fodder for gossip. He really had hoped to avoid making an official statement about his relationship status in reference to Geralt. Admitting to the entire Continent he needed a contracted bodyguard would make Redania look weak, which was just bad all around, and anything else he told them would be some form of lie that he could possibly be caught in later. It was best to avoid the entire situation and hope they didn't pay a lot of attention to Geralt. Realistically, this would never happen. The Witcher was overwhelmingly attractive, and of course the media would be interested in his person just for the sheer number of copies those cheekbones could sell. It was a dilemma.</p><p>Jaskier stared at Geralt, who was driving the truck toward the garage entrance and the mob of cameras waiting just outside. Maybe if he could just keep them from snapping an identifiable photo… Inspiration struck and Jaskier whipped his large, mirrored sunglasses off his face and half lunged to place them haphazardly on Geralt's face.</p><p>"Jaskier," Geralt growled while removing the sunglasses and made a threatening motion in his general direction using them. "What the hell are you trying to do?"</p><p>"Well, I thought you might look nice in them is all," which, to be fair, was kind of a terrible lie but Jaskier willed it to be a good enough explanation.</p><p>"Do you usually gift people things via assault?"</p><p>"Well, no, but I thought you should have them just now," he glanced at Geralt still holding them like a weapon, "with the driving and all?" he finished off weakly.</p><p>"Try again."</p><p>"Well the press is waiting for us up there and I thought if I could distract them from your very pretty eyes with your very pretty jaw they might not figure out who you are until later," and hopefully you won't kill me for calling you pretty. Jaskier at least had enough of a filter to not say the last bit out loud. </p><p>"Afraid being seen with a Witcher might spoil your reputation?" The words were bitter and harsh and his hand had gone tight on the steering wheel. Based on his body language, Geralt was clearly not expecting a response.</p><p>"Gods no!" Jaskier reflexively spit out. "I don't feel like that at all! We are going to be all over the media and they soon will have your name and I just," Jaskier sighed, "wanted you to have a smidge more normalcy before the hurricane began."</p><p>"Hmm," was Geralt's response, but his body lost its tension and his face lost its hardened edge. Then, to Jaskier's surprise, he slipped the sunglasses on his face properly. He would take that as a win.</p><p>Jaskier took a couple of deep breaths and willed his heart to come down. He could hear that they had been spotted and glanced over at Geralt. He looked unfazed, and very attractive, behind Jaskier's sunglasses. Jaskier smirked at him, "I knew those would look good on you."</p><p>Geralt said nothing and calmly drove them through the gate and away from the blinding camera flashes. Jaskier has seen professional drivers handle this situation with less composure. Jaskier pointed over to the bit of the garage that housed Jaskier's own vehicles.</p><p>Jaskier began to hop out but Geralt caught his wrist. "Get out on my side. I don't know what's safe here and I have a better chance if you stay next to me."</p><p>Jaskier nodded and scooted across the bench seat. Even though he knew it was for the best, this level of caution was unsettling in a place that was supposed to be his home. Geralt tugged him out, standing him between Geralt and the truck door.</p><p>"Stay there while I get my things," Geralt ordered sternly. He flicked a lever and the entire bench seat laid flat revealing, well a mobile armory he supposed. Guns, knives, a bow, enough ammunition to level a small army and two terrifyingly beautiful Witcher swords gleamed at him from their resting places. Jaskier was in awe. How could he have ridden all this way and not have noticed that a set of throwing knives lay just behind his shoulders?</p><p>Geralt immediately reached for a shoulder holster and slung it across his broad shoulders. He then picked up one of the two matched handguns. It was one of the largest handguns Jaskier had ever seen and the Witcher expertly checked it before holstering it on one side of his body with a muttered "Silver." The second gun received the same treatment but was called 'Steel' instead. </p><p>Jaskier had been surrounded by people carrying guns his entire life. The best marksmen in Redania were recruited to the Royal Guard. He had even had a few lessons as a teenager to make sure he wouldn't get himself killed if he ended up in possession of a firearm. But the way Geralt gently and thoroughly inspected every bit of weaponry he picked up convinced Jaskier every single person he had seen with a weapon would look like a child with a water gun compared to Geralt. Every touch was practiced and routine, contrasting each assessment which was sharp and critical. Each item was stowed somewhere on Geralt's person or tucked safely away into a duffle bag silently and efficiently. </p><p>Finally two nondescript black bags of items sat in front of them. Jaskier was sure one was entirely knives and ammo and the other made a clinking sound as Geralt zipped it up. Geralt started to reach for one of the gleaming swords but then abruptly changed course. Faster than Jasker could have thought, Geralt had shielded Jaskier with his body and drawn a gun.</p><p>Jaskier looked over Geralt's shoulder to assess the situation. The gun was now approximately 2 inches away from Tony's face. Tony, who was the current head of his security detail. Tony, who looked like someone had just set off 16 firecrackers just behind his head and was very wisely holding his hands out to the side. Geralt held the gun perfectly still, which given its size said a great deal about his forearm strength. </p><p>"Excuse me," Tony started nervously "Prince Julian? Could you please inform your… ah… guest that all outside weaponry on palace grounds is prohibited unless previous authorization has been granted."</p><p>As if the protocols could be applied to a Witcher, honestly. A contracted Witcher had special permissions in almost every land on the Continent and was exempt from most laws that would hinder their ability to complete the task. Trespassing was allowed. Killing indiscriminately was not, but a death in the process of protecting the people was acceptable collateral. Jaskier could almost laugh.</p><p>Instead, he cautiously wrapped an arm under Geralt's free shoulder and pressed himself forward, holding on as if he could stay Geralt's hand. He could just feel the Witcher medallion resting underneath the shirt. Jaskier trusted Geralt's instincts but also would rather the situation not deteriorate further. This was someone who should be on their side after all. He aimed, and probably failed, for his most neutral, official press release voice. "Geralt, this is Tony, he is the lead on my temporary security detail."</p><p>Jaskier could still feel the tension like an oppressive force. Geralt didn't move, but Jaskier's introduction emboldened Tony. "Sir, we are going to have to confiscate the…"</p><p>"No." Geralt's voice was low and sounded rather like he would like to see the idiot try. Then, to emphasize his point, Geralt pushed the sunglasses onto his head to glare at Tony with his yellow cat's eyes.</p><p>Tony blanched.</p><p>"Oh yeah, right. So Tony," Jaskier continued as casually as he could manage, "this is Geralt of Rivia, the White Wolf of Kaer Morhen. Given the current situation surrounding the well-being of my person, I thought it was best to contract the services of a specialist."</p><p>"Your Highness, I assure you..." Tony abruptly stopped speaking when Geralt drew his second gun and pointed it in the direction of a car a few meters away.</p><p>"I would suggest your man behind the red SUV who is attempting to flank me holster his weapon before I am forced to waste a silver bullet destroying his Achilles tendon," Geralt said matter-of-factly. </p><p>Jaskier had no indication there was another person in the garage with them before Geralt had spoken. A startled security agent emerged from behind the vehicle, gun holstered and arms away from his body. Jaskier didn't recognize him.</p><p>"Well, as you can see, Geralt has a good handle on me," <i>Oh gods, who lets me talk!</i> "I mean, my situation so perhaps it is best you go on and let everyone know that we are home and I'll go with him to get situated and freshen up. We can regroup later, when no one is sneaking up on anyone in the garage."</p><p>Thankfully the agents took the out that was given to them and walked stiffly toward the palace entrance. Geralt re-holstered his guns and waited. After getting some signal Jaskier did not hear, see, or feel, Geralt moved away and turned back to his things. Jaskier stood in place, unsure if he was allowed to move yet. </p><p>Each of the Witcher swords were slid into a scabbard on one side of the ammo bag, which Geralt then shouldered. He removed a third bag from the back of the truck and shoved it absently into Jaskier's chest. It hit him rather hard, but fortunately seemed to contain soft things, clothing perhaps? </p><p>Geralt grabbed the clinking bag and tugged Jaskier far enough over he could right the seat and close the truck. He ran his fingers underneath the edge of the mirror and the entire truck shimmered like a cloak of silk was drawn across it before it returned to looking like an ordinary, if well used, vehicle.</p><p>"Keeps people out of my things," Geralt answered before Jaskier could ask. Geralt put his free arm around Jaskier's back, pulling him close, and started moving them toward the door. "Stay where I can see you."</p><p>Jaskier hugged the clothing to his chest as they walked. "Of course," he agreed. He should take them both up to his chambers to drop off Geralt's things and let one of the housekeepers know to ready a room for Geralt. Maybe he should just let Geralt choose a room and then they could just do that one. There were several guest suites directly over Jaskier's chambers that he could present as options. </p><p>He wasn't really paying attention as they entered the door. Someone was waiting just on the inside.</p><p>Oops.</p><p>"Hi Mum."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Well, we've met another member of Jaskier's staff. How does everyone like him?</p><p>Thank you to everyone for reading, commenting and the kudos. &lt;333</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Geralt meets the Queen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Geralt meets the Queen of Redania and Sovereign of Her Protectorate Territories, or as Jaskier calls her, Mum.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Geralt knew there would be people in the palace, many of them just doing their jobs and who would pose no danger to himself and his charge. He also knew that there was at least one, if not a few, who actively intended harm to Jaskier. He knew before arriving at the palace the Security Detail would be a problem. How malicious that problem was, he didn't yet know. He wasn't expecting one to be foolish enough to ask for Witcher's weapons. That smelled of hubris and inexperience. If that was the head of the detail, the junior agents would be worse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't have much of a plan other than keeping Jaskier close for a few days, maybe be able to intercept the culprit by using Witcher enhancements if there was an opportunity. However, the contract was for keeping Jaskier safe and unharmed, not ending the threat. If he wrapped his arm more firmly around Jaskier when they entered the building, it was in the name of doing his job.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were several people waiting for them inside the door. A palace guard sat to one side in a comfortable office full of keys, presumably to every vehicle in the garage. She seemed to have been sharing a coffee with a kitchen staffer when their arrival upset the routine. Both were now watching the drama unfold; at least someone was finding this entertaining. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the other end of the large entryway were three people. One was the moron that wanted him to surrender his weapons. He was talking to a taller man, gesticulating enough to draw attention to himself; a bad quality in a security agent. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>However, that man stood at the junction of the room and an open hallway at the back, angled to keep an eye on both while being as unobtrusive as possible. At least not all of the security in this place were completely unprofessional. The man ignored Tony and looked at Geralt critically, his eyes checked his swords, then his pistols, then his protective stance. He met Geralt's eyes and gave him an almost indiscernible smile and a nod of professional acknowledgement. At some point in Geralt's future, they would be talking tactics and comparing weaponry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The last person was very clearly Jaskier's mother. If Geralt had never seen a picture of her in his life, he would know she was related. Jaskier's eyes were glaring at them from her countenance. She was not an overly tall woman, but her presence filled the room. She was wearing an embroidered purple gown that likely cost as much as everything in the bag Jaskier was clutching to his chest. Her hair was loose and long, very unlike the perfectly polished styles she presented at official functions. She seemed to be trusting her tiara to hold it back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hi Mum."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"JULIAN ALFRED PANKRATZ, what the HELL were you thinking?" Oh, Geralt knows that tone. That's the 'three small boys should not steal daggers and try to hunt a deer on their own' and 'go to a damn healer the next time your arm is almost cleaved off, I am not a professional' and 'by the gods you idiot child, there is a limit on potions you can put into your body at one time. Don't make me have to bury you because of your own stupidity.' tone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm fine, Mum. Everything is fine," Jaskier placated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Everything is NOT fine, Julian. You were missing and no one knew where you were!" It appeared she had long ago mastered the art of yelling without raising the volume of her voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just because no one noticed I was gone doesn't make me missing. I had my phone. Anyone could have called me at any point."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Come here," the queen reached out for Jaskier and Geralt had to let him go. Gerslt carefully watched for any suspicious movements but Jaskier was merely crushed to his mother's chest. "I was scared, Jaskier. People have been trying to hurt you and you were gone. I don't know what I would do if something happened to you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm fine Mum. Promise." Jaskier took a step back to hold his mother's hands. "I had to run an errand, but I'm back now. I'm safe." He glanced back at Geralt, so Geralt gave him a nod.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Where could you have possibly needed to go? I don't understand, I would have gotten you whatever you needed."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I needed a bodyguard." Geralt watched Tony slip off down the hall; the first good decision he had made today.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You have at least 5," the queen said, unimpressed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I needed a better one. They're not good enough. Did a single one know where I was yesterday?" Jaskier looks over to the agent in the hallway. "Nick, did anyone on my personal detail let the rest of the Royal Guard know I was misplaced?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, Your Highness. We assumed you were taking another personal day after the latest incident. There was no communication you were not on Palace Grounds." Professional, succinct, not disguising the disdain for people who do their job terribly. Nick is probably not out to kill Jaskier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What? What do you mean they didn't TELL you?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mum. It's gonna be fine." His tone was calm and placating, "I've got Geralt now. I'm safe."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The queen finally focused on Geralt. She took a visible step back when she met his eyes. Geralt was not trying to be intimidating, but a pair of Witcher pistols and a pair of swords would scare most people unused to them. Not to mention the cat's eyes. "A Witcher? "</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Geralt of Rivia. The best on the Continent," Jaskier said soothingly. Like his name was one that indicated safety and not terror. How did Jaskier make it sound like that?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Geralt of Rivia," she echoed faintly, still staring at Geralt. And it was coming, the damnedable nickname and the look of utter fear. Maybe a scream if the Queen was as prone to dramatics as her son. "The Butch…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mum!" Jaskier cut her off sharply. "Can I please speak to you alone for a moment?" He was already hustling her back around the corner. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My queen," interrupted Nick as they passed him. "You should know there is nothing on the Continent to rival the instinct and weapons prowess of a Witcher. And personally, if my son needed a bodyguard, I would choose the one that can throw swords like knives and parry bullets with a blade."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Geralt was not expecting to find a possible ally anywhere in the palace walls but Nick had moved firmly to the 'least concern to Jaskier's safety' list. The Queen seemed to be reassured by Nick's endorsement and calming down. "Alright, okay."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Geralt picked up the bag Jaskier had left and moved to the end of the hall. He could still hear their conversation, but tried to tune it out. It was not really any of his business, not unless they were discussing actual security concerns, but he could hear them still. There was a lot of reassurance on Jaskier's part and worry from the queen that he might be in more danger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Her Majesty has had a trying morning. Once she calms down, she'll realize Jaskier made a good decision. It's just, sometimes mothers can be like that." Nick shrugged with as little movement to his entire body as possible; it was impressive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wouldn't know." Jaskier was informing his mother that he was a grown man and completely capable of making decisions surrounding his lifestyle and personal security.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's fine. It was a long time ago."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And it was a long time ago. And it was fine. Geralt doesn't remember much before the day Vesemir walked into the orphanage in Kaedwen. He hadn't been there long, he was fairly certain, when the old Witcher said he was taking Geralt  and carried him to a car and buckled him in next to another little boy in the back seat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Geralt," Vesemir had said, "this is your brother Eskel. We are all going home now." From then on Eskel was always there. They shared everything at Kaer Morhen, including a room and lessons and Lambert, when Vesemir brought him in a few years later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Lambert is one of ours now, watch out for him," Vesemir told them gruffly one evening at dinner. An under-fed boy several years younger than he and Eskel was dropped down at the table. Eskel began to butter a second slice of bread for Lambert while Geralt headed to the kitchen to grab another plate. The three of them grew up together, and trained together, and fought together, and fought each other, and finished turning Vesemir's hair gray. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were tight-knit, much to the frustration of the older Witchers. Lambert snuck into the recovery room after Eskel and Geralt suffered their Trial and stayed until he was bodily removed. Twice. The second time Geralt woke in the recovery room, Eskel was petting Geralt's now-white hair and Lambert was asleep across Geralt's legs. Years later, Eskel and Geralt both stood watch as Lambert transformed, refusing to leave and no one was foolish enough to attempt to remove them. Geralt's little family in the extended family that was School of the Wolf. Geralt might not have a mother but he certainly wasn't alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Geralt checked in on the ongoing conversation down the hall. The queen was now accusing Jaskier of hiring him because Geralt was attractive. Geralt has actually used a mirror and knew he wasn’t, so he wasn’t actually sure what they were actually fighting about. Jaskier was blushing though. It was probably time to check his phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>My Brother, My Brother, And Me</b>
</p><p>Me: <i>RoachIsMyFavorite38.jpeg</i><br/>
Me: No one is fucking anyone you idiots.<br/>
Me: Roach however is enjoying the stables
</p><p>Lambert: hey! i also deserve the princess treatment<br/>
Eskel: Phrasing.<br/>
Lambert: you are all jealous I'm the pretty one<br/>
Me: Need some silk sheets for your delicate behind?<br/>
Eskel: He needs something for his behind<br/>
Lambert: HEY!<br/>
Eskel: Seriously Geralt. What the hell is going on in Redania?<br/>
Eskel: I cashed that retainer check for Vesemir<br/>
Eskel: It was over twice what I made the entirety of last year<br/>
Eskel: Protection work usually pays fuxk all.<br/>
Lambert: sex work pays fine<br/>
Eskel: Something is very wrong there<br/>
Me: Someone is trying to murder the prince<br/>
Me: I've already almost shot two people<br/>
Me: Because they're incompetent<br/>
Eskel: Shit.<br/>
Eskel: Don't they have people for that?<br/>
Me: Who do you think I wanted to shoot?<br/>
Me: They tried to take my weapons<br/>
Eskel: That bodes well<br/>
Eskel: How long will you be there?<br/>
Me: Don't know yet<br/>
Me: Couple of months<br/>
Me: Less if Redanian Intelligence isn't corrupt<br/>
Eskel: Damn. Sorry I wasn't home to take the job man<br/>
Eskel: I know you hate people<br/>
Lambert: prince asked for him by name<br/>
Lambert: wouldnt take you<br/>
Lambert: Vesemir tried<br/>
Lambert: guess youre not pretty enough for a sex slave<br/>
Lambert: neither is geralt but i guess the prince has a daddy kink<br/>
Me: How did you end up like this?<br/>
Eskel: Just gave the asshole a black eye.<br/>
Me: Don't murder him before I get home<br/>
Me: It's my turn to kick his ass<br/>
Eskel: Stay safe up there. If you need backup call alright?<br/>
Me: Yeah<br/>
Lambert: same here.<br/>
Lambert: im sure the prince remembers me fondly<br/>
Me: Pretty sure Jaskier wants to get in line to kick your ass<br/>
Lambert: JASKIER is it now<br/>
Lambert: are you sure youre not a sex slave<br/>
Me: Goodbye Lambert</p><p>
  <span>And with that, it's time to put the phone away. He has morons for brothers. He glanced at Nick, who was very pointedly not reading Geralt's phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Muuuuuum," he heard Jaskier whine from down the hallway. The queen was walking swiftly in his direction. She came to a stop in front of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Geralt of Rivia. I apologize for not greeting you appropriately earlier. I have had a trying morning and was worried about the wellbeing of my wayward son." She sounded perfectly composed and had plastered on a press-worthy smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Geralt nodded politely and allowed her to continue. "I am Helena Julianna Riannon Pankratz, Queen of Redania and Sovereign of Her Protectorate Territories. My son has informed me you are the best Witcher on the continent and have accepted a contract to ensure his personal safety?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was waiting for an answer. "Yes, Your Majesty. The retainer is paid and the terms were more than fair."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Good. I am pleased that's settled." She gestured to Nick, "this is my head of the Queen's Guard, Nick. He can get you any resources you need while protecting my son. We will do our best to accommodate any reasonable requests." She paused briefly before continuing, "I have been informed that my son is an adult and as such, I should respect his life choices and his ability to make informed decisions with respect to his personal safety."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The queen stepped closer, much closer than most people would allow themselves to a Witcher. Geralt could clearly hear the weight of her next words as she tipped her head up to meet his eye. "However, I will have you know that if something happens to my son… If you hurt him, through direct action or purposeful neglect, I will rain the fires of hell down upon you and your kin. Am I understood?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaskier magically appeared between them before Geralt had a chance to respond to the queen. "Oh wow Mum. Good speech!" Jaskier said with false cheer. He then picked up the bag of clothes and held it between him and his mother, who did not look pleased with being cut off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We're done here, so I am going to take Geralt, come along, Geralt," Jaskier grabbed his wrist and began forcefully tugging, "up to my wing and get his lodgings sorted. Good to see you Nick. Love you MUM!" Jaskier shouted over his shoulder as he continued pulling Geralt away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Geralt briefly wonders exactly what he has gotten himself into, before pushing it aside and focusing on memorizing the layout of the corridors </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>It has been ages and it feels good to get back to this. I got super distracted writing Echoes of Memory, oops.</p><p>Thanks to Amariahellcat and HeavensCrack for suffering theough my verb tenses.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Not That Teacup Jaskier</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Jaskier finally gets to relax in his own space, maybe...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Jaskier was glad to be back in his familiar rooms. He honestly wanted to shut the door to his apartments and stay in for a few days. But he can't. He has a Witcher to house. Somewhere. Maybe in a little while he can take him upstairs to pick out a guest suite. Or something. Maybe he could convert the office for Geralt's use if he needed to be in Jaskier's actual rooms. The office mostly held things that weren't that important; if anyone actually needed his input, they'd email him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaskier's actual security detail, the real one from before the accident, rotated shifts. They had their own homes, whether on the grounds or in the city, to sleep in. They just kind of relaxed in whatever wing of the house Jaskier happened to be inhabiting at the time. If he was in a meeting they would be in the hall nearby. If he was meeting with people who didn't work for the crown, his security would hover somewhere in his peripherals. Before, he was only ever watched like a hawk in public spaces; the palace was supposed to be safe. He was going to have to get used to a constant shadow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were climbing the stairs overlooking the atrium when Jaskier realized he was still holding on to Geralt's wrist, and Geralt was letting him. Well that's a bit awkward. He let go when they reached the landing. "Sorry I seem to have, um, kidnapped your wrist. Thank you for lending it to me for the walk up here?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hmm" was Geralt's only answer. He didn't look mad, so Jaskier figured he hadn't done anything unforgivably offensive, so that's good at least.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Anyway, here we are." Jaskier made a grand gesture to the large door behind him. As usual, the initial door to his apartments was open, allowing the antechamber to have an aerial view of the atrium. "Here's my chambers. That's a door to the office," he indicated a smaller door inside the antechamber. "And here's my drawing room!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaskier opened the large door and walked into his room. Oh there's his piano, and all his lovely stringed beauties sitting snugly in their cradles, whether on the wall or standing on the floor. And his squashy couch his mother can't stand but he LOVES. And all his frankly ridiculous windows that look out over the gardens. He resists the impulse to throw himself on the couch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He put Geralt's bag down on a chair, not the one he likes to toss his jackets on but the match to it. And then his jacket did get thrown into its favorite chair. He looks at Geralt who was, perhaps, taking an inventory of the room? Jaskier isn't sure. He was paying particular attention to the doors and windows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So the office is over there, again," he pointed at an open door next to the one they came through. "You can actually go through it to get in here, if you ever had the desire. I don't go in there much, although it's nice enough, for an office. It had windows." Jaskier is talking too much again, although Geralt seemed to be paying some sort of attention as he checked the window seams. "Anyway, over here is my bed chamber," he gestured to the double doors between the couch and the piano.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Geralt went over and poked his head into the office, looking through the office into the antechamber. He's a big boy; he will be fine while Jaskier goes to change. Probably will check the office windows or something. Jaskier was not fine; he has been wearing this outfit for well over twenty four hours and he wanted to put on anything else. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He went ahead into his bedroom and on to the dressing room. It was, if he was being honest, ridiculously huge, designed for an era when he would have help dressing every morning and multiple changes of clothes throughout the day. He threw his trousers and shirt into the hamper with more force than necessary, exchanging them for something softer from his wardrobe. Once he was comfortable, he found Geralt standing in his bedroom, looking a bit annoyed with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What part of 'stay where I can see you' was unclear?" Geralt growls, like Jaskier was a naughty child. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry, I just wanted comfortable pants. And no shoes. But mostly the comfortable pants." Geralt looked unmoved by his pleas for comfort. "I didn't think we would go anywhere outside the palace today so... comfortable pants?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm going to use the facilities, do not leave this room." Geralt had clearly already found them, off of his bedchamber, and also left his two of his bags sitting on Jaskier's bed. The ones with the weaponry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fine," he called out to the closing door. Ugh. Did Geralt mean 'don't leave the bedroom' or 'don't leave his apartment?' They should clarify that. He probably meant the entire apartment. That would make the most sense.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The staff had evidently left his normal tea tray this morning, not knowing he was away. Jaskoer rubbed his face, it's probably who noticed he was not home. The tea would be cold, but he might as well make himself something while waiting. It's better than nothing after all. One teacup sat next to a matching carafe, that won't do anymore. He would have to make sure to tell the Kitchen that he should have a two person tray from now on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had just finished making the tea to his liking when Geralt emerged. "Still here Geralt," he chirped, sing-song and taunting. He even lifted his teacup to mock toast Geralt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Which was evidently the wrong thing to do because Geralt was running directly at him,  his face an angry storm. Really! How did he move across the room that fast? And then Geralt SLAPPED the teacup out of Jaskier's hand, sending it hurling toward the ground. It shattered against the stone of the hearth. What the hell…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What the hell, Geralt?" Jaskier asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Poison," Geralt granted in response. He was opening the teapot and sniffing the contents.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Poison! What? In my tea?" Geralt was ignoring Jaskier's growing alarm, bending down and picking up a piece of the teacup. And then he licked it. Jaskier could not believe his eyes, "WHAT are you doing? Don't lick the poisoned tea!" His Witcher was going to die and Jaskier hasn't even had him a full day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Geralt spat into the fireplace. "Poison doesn't affect me. And it's not the tea that was poisoned. Your teacup had been laced with a neurotoxin." Geralt stared at the shard, turning it back and forth in the window light. "Gel, applied on the inside of the cup most likely."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"A what!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Neurotoxin, lucky I smelled it before you drank anything. Would've been nasty for a human. Don't eat or drink without me around," Geralt instructed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaskier needed to sit down. He collapsed heavily on the bed, flopping backward and throwing an arm over his eyes. He was dimly aware of Geralt walking around the room, checking for something. And he also asked Jaskier a question that didn't register.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Come again? I'm just having a slight mental breakdown over almost being killed by cold tea," because really, he deserved a breakdown right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are," Geralt was speaking slowly, like Jaskier was a child, "there any other entries to your chambers?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just the antechamber entrance really. I mean it opens to both the office and the drawing room but you can just close the big door to the hall," but Geralt already knew that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Anyone entering your chambers would absolutely have to go through there?" he pressed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah of course…" then he remembered, oh shit. "Actually no, there is an old servant's stair with a hidden door that opens into the dressing room. At the back. There's a shelf built into the door."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fuck." And didn't that sum up the past half hour? Jaskier would smother himself with a pillow if that wouldn't do the assassin's work for them </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We don't use them anymore. Anywhere in the castle, but they do go most everywhere. I only really know because I grew up here. I got bored sometimes and hid from the adults." Alright, so Jaskier got bored a lot; he was an only child after all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Geralt hmmed at him again. "Order another tea tray, just... don't eat anything until I'm done here." He then disappeared into the dressing room. Jaskier could hear knocking sounds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaskier, not having anything better to do, rolled inelegantly across his bed to reach the tablet on the far nightstand. He tapped in the order for a tea tray, for two people. He also added a special request for a coffee pot, in case Geralt wanted coffee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sent it off, the automatic response helpfully informing him the order was received and  it would be up in a few minutes. He rolled on to his side and looked over. He was laying in bed next to a pair of giant swords. His nose was a couple of inches from the handles. He resisted the sudden impulse to boop them with his nose. How did his life go this way?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Geralt emerged from the dressing room, looking disgruntled. "It's locked, but not as secure as I would like." Geralt was hovering over him now. "Come on, up you get. You're not gonna die today."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm just saying hello to my bed. It missed me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Up, Jaskier." Jaskier was yanked to his feet like he weighed nothing. That's not fair. He followed Geralt into the drawing room, throwing himself down sideways onto his comfortable couch. Geralt calmly sat down just on the other side of the bend in the couch and waited, face turned toward the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaskier rooted around in the cushions behind him, eventually finding the everything remote, which he chucked at the Witcher. Geralt caught it without turning his head. "It runs most everything in here if you wanna turn on music or watch TV or something."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not really." Geralt set the remote on the coffee table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaskier just stared. He was trying to be nice. Let the guest pick the entertainment, or whatever. And Geralt was just… sitting there. "Oh, shall we just sit here in silence then?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I never said you couldn't put on something."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Never said I could either." Jaskier was aware he sounded like he was pouting. He just didn't want to offend his Witcher. He wasn't a mind reader. Geralt had only just gotten here, so it was not like Jaskier could guess. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a silence that made it clear the Witcher did not intend to answer, he poked Geralt's thigh with his toe, because he was there. And he could. And he was still wearing his guns. "Isn't it uncomfortable to sit wearing those giant guns? "</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thankfully there was a knock on the door and Chloe came in carrying a plate of sandwiches followed by, um, that one guy who moved from his grandmother's staff the other week. He had the coffee and tea. He could hear the dishes shake when they looked at the big scary man wearing guns.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hello Chloe!" Jaskier aimed for cheer. He sat up because food was here! "Thank you for bringing up some refreshments for Geralt and I here. Wasn't that nice of her Geralt?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hm, very." He turned a piercing gaze on her, "Do you usually access the Prince's quarters to bring his snacks?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes? It's usually me." Large brown eyes glanced nervously at Jaskier. He nodded and she continued, "Peter is helping now, since he just moved from the Queen Mother's country estate. He is still learning his way around."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I like the city!" he blurted out louder than Jaskier supposed he intended. He had everyone's attention now and looked quite ashamed to have spoken. And like he wanted the floor to swallow him whole. He looked like maybe he had just finished highschool. Poor kid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm new to the city as well," Geralt commented kindly, as if the kid had made a bland comment on the traffic. Peter gave him a grateful smile. Wasn't that interesting? Geralt managed to relax the kid with just a short phrase.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chloe set her tray down on the coffee table and motioned for Peter to do the same. She then sent him to retrieve the one in the bedroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Be careful!" Jaskier called after him. "Geralt startled me and I dropped the teacup. So clumsy of me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chloe kept her face professional and did not comment. She then turned to Geralt, "welcome to the palace,  Sir. Please let me know if you need anything from the kitchens. Lucia usually manages His Highness's housekeeping needs and you could let her know which suite you will..." there she trailed off looking unsure. She looked from Geralt to Jaskier and back again and backtracked, "let her know any needs you might have surrounding linens and laundry."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peter came back in and scooted through carrying the tray with the teapot and broken, poisoned teacup. He stumbled out a hasty goodbye, flubbing Jaskier's title and barely pausing in his rush to exit. Then the poor lad bumped into the table in the antechamber, judging by the sound, and the muffled 'shit.' Jaskier has done that before; it's got pointy edges and a solid construction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I should go check on him." She glanced over her shoulder, looking concerned. "Let me know if there is anything I can do for Your Highness or for you Sir."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She respectfully curtsied to Geralt, which Jaskier found hilarious, and hurried out. Geralt stood after her, listening for the footfalls down the stairs. Jaskier could hear him swing the heavy antechamber door closed and the turn of its lock. He closed the inner door behind him, "I would prefer as much warning as possible if someone was headed in."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I suppose that makes sense," Jaskier replied. He never kept the antechamber door shut, but he was royal and allowed to be eccentric. Geralt was uncovering all the food and eying it critically. Poison detection test passed, he sat down and began making himself a cup of coffee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's all fine. You should still be careful," Geralt warned. "Anything that's served in individual portions for you is going to be more of a risk than a tray like this."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Or I could take all my meals with you?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Or you could take all your meals with me," Geralt confirmed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Someone in the kitchen had made mini-quiches today. Therefore, the day is not a total loss. He popped one in his mouth whole, spinach and cheese, delicious. He grabbed another and held it out to Geralt.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And we get to see Jaskier's house! At least where he lives in the castle, if not an actual house.</p><p>Many thanks to Amariahellcat for beta services.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. And There was Only One Bed, Jaskier</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Gotta settle the sleeping arrangements</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>After lunch, and maybe a catnap curled up on the couch, Jaskier showed Geralt around the palace. How to get to the kitchen, where the public rooms were, where the formal dining room was, and the family one. He showed Geralt all the possible guest suites he could choose to use during his stay. They saw Nick near the entrance to the staff offices, and heard his mother's raised voice. Someone else was in trouble and he didn't actually care to find out who.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He ducked out into the interior courtyard and unwillingly found the chip in the stone from the bullet meant from him. Geralt studied it critically and when Jaskier mentioned it was fired from the tower where they hung all the ugly tapestry, well Jaskier wished he hadn't. Because then they had to climb the tower, with all of its stairs, and all of the truly HIDEOUS things that were simultaneously too ugly to exist and important national treasures.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Geralt was rather good about listening to his lifelong dream. Once he becomes reigning monarch, he will give the National Museum an endowment large enough for them to build a wing to house the ugly tapestries and also add a conservationist and a couple of researchers to the staff. As a result, he will know why these tapestries had tormented countless members of the royal family. The biggest bonus will be he would never have to see them again after the dedication ceremony. Win-win for everyone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Things got interesting again around bedtime. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Have you decided which guest suite I should have Lucia get ready for you?" Jaskier asked as they returned from having a late dinner. They ate on one of the patios overlooking the formal gardens because the view is nice and they were most certainly not avoiding Jaskier's mum. "I think you might have seen all the available ones? The green one, just upstairs, has a nice view." It was directly above Jaskier's own apartment, and shares the same view Jaskier enjoyed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Jaskier, they left a poisoned cup for you, in your bedroom," Geralt replied flatly, as if Jaskier was talking nonsense.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Okay. Good point," Jaskier acknowledged, clasping his hands together. "I also had a thought. We could convert the office for you, take out my desk and have a bed moved in. I don't do a lot in it most days, we can put the desk in here," Jaskier frowned, "it would be a little late for that tonight but we could have it done first thing."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No." Geralt paused and stared at Jaskier for a second. "I can't secure the service entry in the closet well enough to stay that far away. I'm fast but I'd rather not risk it."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oh, wow. Jaskier hadn't even thought about the service entrance. "Oh, so I guess that means you'll be staying in here?" Jaskier gestured around his bedchamber. He really needs a minute, actually several, right now, to process. "So, I'm going to go, and take a shower, a long shower, and you do... whatever you need to do to get comfortable in here. And I will be in there, getting myself clean." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jaskier walked in a daze to the bathroom. He was going to be spending the night, in bed, with the most attractive person he has never slept with. They're going to have to share because he was not letting Geralt sleep on the floor, and Jaskier certainly isn't going to sleep on the floor. He has standards. But Jaskier has no idea how to share a bed with someone he isn't fucking. Real people do that right? He could do that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He started washing his hair since he realized standing in the water having a crisis won't actually get him clean. He could do this. His bed was huge, they might not even notice they're sharing. He could just... lie there, next to an attractive man and sleep. Easy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Conditioner, next step. It's a good step; his hair will be soft and behave itself. And Jaskier wanting it to behave has nothing to do with the fact Geralt would see him when he got up. The Witcher had already seen him sleep, in the truck and on the couch. This was nothing new; he was fretting over nothing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>By the time Jaskier had finished scrubbing himself down and taking a very long time to rinse off, he had convinced himself everything was fine. He was just shocked by the proposal and needed a moment to recover. Geralt was exactly right, he could keep Jaskier safer if he was next to him. It's all in the name of safety.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He realized he hadn't brought any night clothes in with him, as he doesn't normally have someone waiting just outside his bathroom door. He fastened the towel as firmly about his waist as he could. Geralt would just have to forgive the rest of this nakedness on the way to the dressing room. It's not like Jaskier looks unattractive; it should be ok for a minute.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He opens the door, one hand firmly on his towel closure, and walks quickly to the closet. Good, maybe the Witcher didn't notice. Jaskier doesn't know for sure as he could not bring himself to actually look. The towel was abandoned in an unceremonious heap on the floor and exchanged for his old nightshirt. Maybe not the most fashionable thing he has ever worn to bed, but it's comforting ans soft and he's covered from wrists to knees. Since he's not seducing Geralt, unfashionable nightwear is fine.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Upon exiting, he realized his room was not exactly as he left it. His bed, his very heavy, four poster gigantic bed, had been moved to the corner. Geralt must be strong as an ox, because Jaskier certainly couldn't have moved that alone. He's not sure he could've moved it with three other people. His rug had been adjusted and been re-centered based on the new location of the bed. Geralt's bags have been laid out against the back wall. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Geralt himself had changed for bed. He was wearing loose black pants and not much else. He seemed to be praying, maybe meditating on the rug. Resting on his knees with his hands on his thighs, facing away from the bed. His pistols were set on either side, within easy reach should he need them. He was bare-chested, highlighting the silver wolf medallion Jaskier had only gotten glimpses of until now. The scars across his arms and chest only brought attention to his musculature. Jaskier wanted to lick them. His hair had been smoothed out and hung loose around his bowed head. Jaskier's entire self pep-talk went right out the window. It's not fair. Men shouldn't look like that and be real. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sweet Melitele, Jaskier was going to go to Special Hell.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Apparently Geralt was still aware enough to notice Jaskier staring at him. "Go to bed, Jaskier."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Right, okay." He almost crossed the room before stopping in front of Geralt. "Can I… do anything for you? Or get you anything?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Geralt moved, only his head, cracking open his eyes to peer at Jaskier. "No," he breathed out heavily, "please go to bed."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Okay." Jaskier grabbed his phone and plugged it in. Apparently Geralt had also moved the nightstand and even his phone charger. He sat his phone down, next to Geralt's which was plugged to its own charging cord. Isn't that domestic? He almost made a comment to Geralt who had resumed, praying?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Geralt's back was now to Jaskier and he could stare. Not that he should stare, but it was a lovely back. With some pretty jagged scaring. He wanted to touch them and ask how Geralt got them. Jaskier decided against disturbing him and crawled under the covers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He waited for sleep, or for Geralt to come to bed. Jaskier couldn't stop himself from glancing over at Geralt every so often, no matter how hard he tried to sleep. He tried to compose himself a lullaby or imagine something boring to fall asleep. He turned over so he would stop staring at the nape of Geralt's neck peeking from under his hair. It didn't work. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He grabbed his phone, thank the gods for long cords. It had been a whole twenty minutes. Jaskier looked back at Geralt, not one twitch of any muscle. That's disconcerting. He could barely tell the man was breathing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He answered a few emails. And then did the thing you are never supposed to do: he googled himself. Well, actually, he first googled Geralt. All the top hits redirected to the School of the Wolf sites. Further down were recent news articles where he had Witcher-ed something. And then, on the second page were the older articles about Blaviken. Ugh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then, he googled himself. In top stories there were pictures of him and Geralt pulling into the garage gate. Jaskier smiling and Geralt looking stoic beside him. Another of Geralt driving and wearing Jaskier's sunglasses with Jaskier looking at him from the passenger seat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He clicked on the Redania Redacted piece because he has no self control. Plus, if he had to pick a tabloid, he likes them best. They always seem to have the best quality information for some reason, so if Geralt has been outed, they would've gotten the scoop.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>PRINCE JULIAN ARRIVES HOME WITH MYSTERY MAN</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Breaking news: Crown Prince Julian arrived at the palace in Tretogor late this morning accompanied by his Mystery Man. Redania Redacted first broke the story of this possible affair early this morning (see previous article) when the couple was spotted arriving from Kaedwen.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The couple were in fact, hauling at least one addition to the Royal Stables. Their first stop in Tretogor was, as expected, the Royal Stables where a Chestnut beauty was offloaded and ushered into the barn reserved for Prince Julian's favorites. Sources close to the Royal Stables have confirmed that a full kit of accessories were ordered for the new addition, with Prince Julian picking up the tab.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>After that stop, the couple arrived at the palace, sans horse trailer. Our photographers were able to capture quality photos of the pair as they pulled into the palace gates (see end of article for more photos). And judging from the photos, we cannot fault the Prince's taste in company. No identification as of yet for the Prince's attractive companion, but an eagle-eyed staffer did notice he was sporting Prince Julian's signature sunglasses. Have they already reached the clothes sharing stage of the relationship?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The pictures after the article were actually pretty flattering of Geralt, for pap photos taken through the window of a moving car. He checked a couple of other articles, and found more of the same. Well, the sunglasses worked then. Good job, Jaskier. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Geralt was still praying and Jaskier still couldn't sleep. He made the executive decision to fuck around on Twitter a bit. Oh, it appeared the Lambert Witcher is now following his account. He responded to some nice comments on his music and retweeted Pavetta's photo of her cat sitting on her book. He also might have tweeted something dramatic about being forsaken by sleep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He finally registered the time. He had wasted well over an hour on Twitter. He was still no closer to going to sleep. Geralt was still and being unfairly attractive while kneeling there. He wanted to drag him to bed, and then Jaskier laughed at himself because he doubted a team of men could move all that muscle.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Geralt?" No response, so he tried again. "Geralt? Are you planning to come to bed anytime soon?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No." Geralt didn't move. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm sorry for disturbing your, um, prayer…" Geralt cut his hesitant questioning off.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm meditating."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Right. Meditating. That's good then." Jaskier fumbled with the sheets a bit. "I was just wondering on when you planned to come to bed? You've been at it for almost two hours now and I'm worried… about your knees. That's a nice rug but it's not padded nearly well enough… Should I get…"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm fine Jaskier. Go to sleep."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Alright, so you'll come to bed?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I was going to meditate instead of sleep."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"That's preposterous. I know you're a Witcher and can do things I wouldn't dream of but you need to sleep. You drove all night last night and I INSIST you sleep in a proper bed." This is a simple concept. Bodies need sleep, no matter how they are enhanced.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Geralt finally twisted his upper body so he could just see Jaskier sitting in bed. Holy shit, was he flexible!  "If I come to bed, will you be quiet and sleep?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jaskier was relieved the man had finally seen reason. "Yes!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hmm." But Geralt did rise from the floor, in a single, fluid motion, a pistol in each hand. Gods it is UNFAIR that he can make a body that looks like that move that way. The pistols disappeared somewhere on the free side of the bed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Geralt slipped into the bed, barely disturbing the covers as he got comfortable. Jaskier was now trapped between Geralt's unfair body and a stone wall. He really hoped he didn't need to use the facilities during the night because that would be an awkward climb over his bedmate.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Are you satisfied now?" Geralt was staring at the ceiling, one arm tucked behind his head. He had a distinct teasing lilt to his voice. Jaskier wanted to die, just a little.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yes, thank you for finally seeing reason, Witcher," Jaskier tried, and failed to sound like he had won an argument. "Have a good sleep, in a proper bed." Jaskier turned over and scooted a bit toward the wall. It was safer; he can't do anything embarrassing to the wall.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Geralt's quiet laughter floated across the bed to him.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>